That’s Amore

by

A wife can forgive the 'other woman', can't she?
A wife can forgive the 'other woman', can't she?
Bernie Madoff is serving a 150-year prison sentence for hoodwinking investors out of millions. Now one of those investors, Sheryl Weinstein, claims Bernie also stole her heart. In her soon to be published book, she confesses to have been involved in an affair with Madoff for over 20 years. Despite this new scandalous revelation, Bernie Madoff’s legal wife, Ruth, sent the following letter to the judge overseeing Mr. Madoff’s case.

Dear Your Most Honored Honor:

Back in June, you sentenced my loving husband, Bernard Madoff (Prisoner #61727-054), to serve 150-years in federal prison for his crimes of bilking innocent investors out of countless millions, their precious dreams and the remains of their sacred lives.

My husband is a good man, an honorable man, a 71-year old man. I am writing you with a sincere request.

If he serves his full term, Bernie will not be released until June 4, 2159. Your Honorable Honor, if you would shed some mercy, I implore you to reduce his sentence to an early release date of June 4, 2158. Please, let him enjoy some free time before his time is up.

Thank you, kind sir. In closing, I must mention that Bernie told me that you appear to be gaining a lot of weight. He said even in your black robe, you appear to be morbidly obese.

Best wishes,

Ms. Ruth Madoff
Standing By Her Man As Best She Can

1 thought on “That’s Amore”

  1. Makes me fell all Tammy Wynette-y, reading this touching letter. I swear, Patrick, you know suspiciously well how a woman really feels.

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