New Apple Tablet A Shocker

Not exactly what people had been expecting from Steve Jobs.
With the announcement by Steve Jobs of Apple’s new tablet device just minutes away, The Lint Screen has learned the gizmo will have a definite retro feel.

“The designers at Apple were getting tired of the sleek, modern look for devices,” said a Cupertino insider, “so they went for something a bit more classic. The tablet is made of stone and weighs 42 pounds.”

The device will come complete with a hammer and chisel. “From a technological standpoint, it’s pretty radical. It doesn’t even require a power source or software.”

Soon we’ll see if this rumor is true, and also the rumor that Steve Jobs will be wearing a blue knit shirt and black jeans.

Be still our collective breath!

Comments

12 responses to “New Apple Tablet A Shocker”

  1. Jamie Turner Avatar

    Funny! No surprise that you’d have a funny take on all this. Keep ’em coming!

  2. admin Avatar

    The truth isn’t funny, it’s, well, the truth! Thanks for collecting Lint.

  3. jenny Avatar
    jenny

    hmmm, nice. but probably not as absorbent as the ipad…

  4. admin Avatar

    Good point.

  5. Mr. Kirby Avatar
    Mr. Kirby

    Finally, a piece of technology Mel Gibson will embrace… (additional reason: the aforementioned lack of absorbency makes it the ideal work-surface due to Mel’s tendency for repeatedly knocking over his beaker of Grumpy’s Heysen Scottish Oatmeal Stout)

  6. admin Avatar

    Ummm, Grumpy’s Heysen Scottish Oatmeal Stout…

  7. Mr. Kirby Avatar
    Mr. Kirby

    Drink a glass and you’ll swear Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.

    Drink two and you’ll think the appropriate salutation for any female is “what are you lookin’ at, Sugar T*ts?”

    Drink three and you’ll start confusing Steve Jobs with that guy in the bible with the same name.

  8. admin Avatar

    Drink four and puke while shouting for Danny Glover.

  9. Mr. Kirby Avatar
    Mr. Kirby

    Drink five and you’ll stand naked in your front year babbling in Màaya t’àan to the gardeners.

  10. admin Avatar

    Drink six and make baby Jesus cry.

  11. Mr. Kirby Avatar
    Mr. Kirby

    Excuse me “front yard” (damn, this Grumpy’s got a kick!)

  12. Mr. Kirby Avatar
    Mr. Kirby

    Drink seven and this monkey’s gone to heaven (’cause is man is five, then the Devil is six and God is seven)

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