The Lint Screen

Suspect Nabbed in Farmville Case

Written by

PD Scullin

in

Did evil lurk along this hallway? Authorities wonder.
The Lint Screen has learned that authorities have apprehended a suspect in the gruesome killings of 246 people in the quiet social gaming community of Farmville.

The unnamed suspect had been staying at a Deep Discounter Inn in the nearby town of Shadyville. In an early morning raid Friday, the suspect was taken into custody after having been given a thorough police beating and a good talking-to.

Farmville Police Chief Maxwell “Hurly Burly” Weatherton refused commenting on the case against the suspect except to say that “he could take a punch” and “he seems pretty guilty to me.”

“The no goodnik has lawyered-up, which means he’s probably guilty as sin,” said Chief Weatherton as he iced-down his fists. “We think we’ve definitely got our man. We can’t be spending all our time looking for a killer. We want to shut this case as quickly as we can and get back to farming and earning farm coins. This is an open and shut case as far as I’m concerned. If we have to slap the scales of justice upside his head to get a confession, we will.”

Comments

4 responses to “Suspect Nabbed in Farmville Case”

  1. Curvin O'Rielly Avatar
    Curvin O’Rielly

    My sources in Farmville tell me it’s Charlie Sheen. Can’t wait for “film at 11.”

  2. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    I looked for this Farmville place on Google maps and sure enough I found Farmville in Virginia. However, I spent a couple of hours looking at the satellite view and could find nothing that looks like the picture in your previous post. I’m beginning to smell a rat. You’re not making this stuff up, are you?

  3. admin Avatar
    admin

    Sheen, eh? Good tip. We’ll have to have the cops look into that one.

  4. admin Avatar
    admin

    “…making this stuff up?”

    Sir, I’ll have you know our journalistic standards are perhaps the highest in the blogosphere. Our reporters even have cards that read ‘PRESS” stuck into the brims of their hats!

    Perhaps this ‘Google Maps’ bears some further investigation.

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