The Lint Screen

Say “Yes!” To Kate’s Wedding Dress

Written by

PD Scullin

in

It's a stunner, she is; the bride will stride in pride!
Along with the rest of the world’s media, reporters from The Lint Screen have been swarming the streets of London looking for scoop on the upcoming matrimony of Prince William to Kate The Commoner, and we’ve unearthed a scoop that would give Ben & Jerry a hernia.

We have an exclusive sneak peek at Kate’s wedding dress!!!!

Oh, she’s a beaut, she is– all pretty in pink with a bell shape to make Kate’s legs ring-a-ling-a-ding down the aisle of Westminster Abbey. This breathtaking gown has lacy accents and enough class to fill both Oxford and Cambridge!

We suspect William’s knees will turn to soft toffee pudding when he catches a good gander at his mate all pretty in pink, ready for a dance and a drink. Terrence Ogden Nigel Cuppenstunce, a noted British fashion designer, says the dress is surprising in a number of ways.

“Kate eschewed the boring canvas of white or off-white in favor of some vibrancy and life. I love the poofy scoopage around her neck, and the long satin gloves add a certain swankiness that is, how you say– beautitific! Oh, this is a dress for the ages and I am quite literally breathless in anticipation.” With that, the elderly designer collapsed to the ground clutching his chest and gasping for sweet life.

William, you’re one lucky dog!

Comments

2 responses to “Say “Yes!” To Kate’s Wedding Dress”

  1. Curvin O'Rielly Avatar
    Curvin O’Rielly

    Cuppenstunce collapsed to the ground? Does that mean he’s gone? I suppose he was shocked that Kate won’t be wearing virginal white. Well, he shouldn’t have been. She’s a commoner, after all, and you know how commoners behave. Come to think of it, maybe royals behave the same way. There’d be a Pulitzer in the story if you were able to dig up the truth and report it on The Lint Screen.

  2. admin Avatar
    admin

    Mr. Cuppenstunce was last seen clutching his chest and writhing on the sidewalk, hardly the sort of behavior one expects from a member of the better classes (and a fashion expert, to boot). If he is indeed with us, let us hope he learns how to behave in public.

    Thanks for the advice on looking into the mating habits of commoners and Royals. I may consider such a move as TLS was yet again passed over by the Pulitzer Selection Committee. Your subject may be just the cheese I need to snare one of those fancy Pulitzers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More posts