Fritos Pledges To Nuke Iran

Fritos has a special delivery for enemy states. Best straighten up & flight right!
The winner of the Iowa caucuses in the nonhuman presidential campaign is out to prove he’s no softy when it comes to foreign policy. Bag of Fritos released a statement today promising to “blow Iran to hell and back with nuclear bombs” if it is elected president.

“My diplomacy is do as I say or die. Any questions, Ahmadinejad? And China, you’re next. ‘Tear down that wall’–– of I’ll make it and you go up in a mushroom cloud! And listen up, little man in North Korea, I wasn’t afraid of your daddy and I ain’t afraid of you. Get in line toot-sweet or you’ll feel my disappointment as your face melts into your tiny hands. Same to you, Putin. You may have been elected leader, but trust me, you don’t want me stuffing your ballot box. In fact, all you foreigners best suck up quick after I’m sent to the White House!”


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Comments

4 responses to “Fritos Pledges To Nuke Iran”

  1. Kitty Avatar
    Kitty

    And that, my boy, is how the Iranians became known as “Tostitians.”

  2. admin Avatar

    Very well played, Ms. Feline-Name.

    I bow to your glory and shall put out a saucer of milk to your hunger.

  3. Curvin ORielly Avatar
    Curvin ORielly

    Just wondering if Ms. Kitty happens to be a Persian cat.

  4. admin Avatar

    That would explain a lot, Curvin.

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