Big Bird Flies The Coop

A.P.B. issued– if you see this Big Bird, please drop a dime on him.

Sesame Street’s elder statesmen, Big Bird, has been missing from this community since Thursday morning, said local resident, Rabbie Rodent.

“Big Bird’s on the lam,” said the large rat with a foaming mouth. “He said someone had put a contract out on him and that he had to take a powder. Said he might be going to Salt Lake City and maybe changing his religion. He was really nervous, sweating, all jittery dropping f-bombs like he was being scripted by Tarantino. Sort of like when he was coming down from his vowel addiction a few years back. I kind of felt sorry for the big yellow fellow, but then he hit me upside the head with a lead pipe and stole my wallet and stash of prime numbers. That sucker needs to get put down, plucked and made into pillows.”

Rabbie Rodent then bit this reporter, apologized and went back to his trash can.

10 thoughts on “Big Bird Flies The Coop”

  1. The bird’s no fool. The government’s getting out of the entertainment business. My advice? Learn how to assemble fighter planes or drill for oil in the permafrost.

  2. Good point, Bill. Or, form a government bureau with the task of tackling how to reduce the size of government. Hire 100- 200 million people, unemployment solved.

    Vote Scullin 2016!!!

  3. Great. I’m going to start writing speeches, platforms, talking points and whatnot.

    Wait– the election isn’t until 2016. I think I’ll think about procrastinating a little later…

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