Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, and the guest of honor has said he won’t show.
Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog who the world watches every February 2nd, has issued a press release stating he won’t cast a shadow (or not) tomorrow morning. “Look, I’m not an idiot,” the marmot’s release states, “I’ve read about all these drone attacks. I’m not about to be a target.”
A doctor close to the famous groundhog said that he has been suffering panic attacks lately and fears for his life.
Punxsutawney Phil goes on to state, “I see what happens to guys who live in caves. I read how Edward Snowden has to hide. Why of Earth should I show myself and attract attention? No thanks. Want to know the forecast? You bastards can watch the locals on the 8’s on The Weather Channel like everyone else. This furry fella’s outta here!”
Will he show or will he surface on WikiLeaks casting tall shadows? Time will tell.
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