Julian Fellowes, creator and writer of the popular series Downton Abbey has been under fire recently for the boredom he’s brought to the usual scintillating programing of PBS. Season Four has been lambasted as “a snooze fest” and “a royal bore.”
But Fellowes has a plan to kick up the action.
“In last week’s episode, Mr. Bates went off and suddenly his wife’s rapist, Mr. Green died by mysteriously stepping in front of a lorry,” said Fellowes as he made formed his long figertips into church steeples. “Well, this week, Mister Green returns–– as a zombie,” the British writer said with an evil cackle.
Fellowes explained that Mr. Green will seek revenge for his murder at the hands of Mr. Bates, and that his appetite for human flesh will cause a chain reaction of death and zombie re-birth that will make Downton Abbey popular and gripping again for fans and critics alike. He is confident it will silence his critics.
“The thing is, these zombies have the most atrocious dining manners. It will be positively repulsive for the Dowager Countess and Lord and Lady Grantham to tolerate. Oh, Mr. Carson and Lady Mary will be quite beside themselves. It will be delightful fun watching as the zombie plot unfold.”
Tune in tonight.
All sorts of nasty behavior is tolerated at Downton including rape, murder and theft. However, one can’t show up for dinner sporting the wrong duds. If that’s all Mr. Green has to wear, he’ll be downstairs dining on the servants.
You are certainly correct, Lord William. Improper dress and the inability to select the proper fork for the flesh course shall not be tolerated in any civilized company.
To the downstairs with you, Mr. Green!