April Fools Day celebrates wacky hijinks, but sometimes those shenanigans can have a dark and deadly side, as 46-year-old Tom Cronler discovered this morning outside his home in Powdersville, South Carolina.
Cronler got into his car to go to work and was bitten repeatedly by copperhead snakes and black widow spiders that had been placed there by his practical joking 44-year-old next door neighbor, Pete Muskes.
“It was an accident,” Muskes said. “I just wanted to give ol’ Tomcat a surprise wake up call with the spiders and snakes. I thought he’d appreciate my zany madcap stunt and maybe try and offer me an exploding cigar or something in retaliation. But I guess Tom was allergic to poison. I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to think my innocent little joke had deadly consequences, but, hey–– what can you do?”
Muskes was arrested pending the sense of humor of a judge.
Dear Lint Screen,
I rely on you for serious, factual news. For instance, the preceding story about churches in gun stores is eye-opening and I impress many of my friends when I relate the details. They say “Really, no way!” and I say “Yep, it’s true. I read it on The Lint Screen”. However, as I read the third paragraph in this tragic story above about a man’s untimely death, I began to suspect that something fishy is going on with this spider/snake tale and you made it all up as some sort of April Fool’s joke. Well, gotcha. You can’t fool me.
Bill, I wish this were an April Fool’s Day joke. If that were the case, it would make my eulogy easier to give.
I trust I’ll see you at the funeral services.
Thanks. Be careful in your car.
Great article! BTW – If you’re not watching “Review” (Thursdays on Comedy Central) you’re missing one of the funniest shows in years.
Thanks for the tip, will check it out.