Ruski top dog Vlad Putin is tired of getting the bum wrap of being a bad actor on the world stage, so he’s taking steps to soften his hardline image.
Enter “Mr. Bojangles”: the first puppy of Russia and furry best friend of the prez.
“Mr. Bojangles is adorable,” said Ivan Bakinov, a Kremlin spokesman told The Lint Screen. “Those big eye orbs of his melts hearts. President Putin plans to hold Mr. Bojangles when he announces Russian invasions or bombings. Also, when he denies involvement in the assassinations of his enemies. Aw, look at him, he just left a present on the floor–– I mean the dog, not our revered and loved president!”
The cute puppy scampered across the shiny marble floor of the Kremlin mischievously, as if he knew he had done something bad.
“We are teaching Mr. Bojangles how to dance for you,” said Mr. Bakinov as he mopped his brow. “That should take the heat off President Putin and provide amusement for media newsniks. Now leave,” he commanded TLS reporter, “or you will be shot.”
The Lint Screen reporter ran away crying, trying not to drip tears on the Kremlin floor.
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