The Lint Screen used dumpster diving journalism to unearth a crumpled sheet of paper with questions that were not asked in the Republican Presidential Debate on Wednesday. (TLS also found a delicious jelly donut with only one bite taken! Strawberry!!!)
Here are the questions that were not posed:
1. Where do each of you see you see yourself in two years?
2. Mr. Trump, I’m thinking of a number between one and twenty. What is it, and are you crazy?
3. Governor Bush, are you running to get the approval of your parents? Do you think they love your brother more than you because he won the oval office?
4. Senator Paul, who do you like better–– Peter, Paul or Mary?
5. Dr. Carson, everyone has heard about your ability to separate the heads of conjoined infants, but which medical drama do you think is better–– “E.R.” or “Gray’s Anatomy”? Why?
6. Governor Huckabee, your name is fun to say. What nationality are you, anyway?
7. Senator Cruz, you’re Cuban. Can you explain why Desi Arnaz cheated on Lucille Ball?
8. Governor Christie, do you want to eat the rest of my sandwich and chips I have under my desk? There’s a dill pickle spear, too!
9. Ms. Fiorina, I have an HP Officejet Pro 8100 that keeps jamming. What do you think’s wrong with the darn thing?
10. Senator Rubio, why is Florida so popular with serial killers?
11. Governor Kasich, what four-letter state containing three vowels is the best, and why haven’t you used a Nazi comparison yet in your campaign?
12. Could I get all of you to hold hands, turn to one another and say, “I love you”? It’ll make for great television!
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