Sandy Minkertom is mad, and you don’t want that!
The 36-year old Philadelphia insurance broker recently took drastic violent action by de-friending 812 people on Facebook after they did not accept her invitation to play the popular game Candy Crush.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said the upset Candy Crusher. “Here I was being a great friend and inviting them to share in my total passion, and my kindness was ignored.”
Before she took her extreme action, she made the following post on Facebook: “To all my so called ‘friends’–– who the hell do you think you are?! I invited you to play the absolute most fun game ever–– CANDY CRUSH–– and you not only didn’t take me up on my kind offer, you rubbed your legs together and made cricket noises in my face! UNBELIEVABLE!!! Well, I’ve had it up to here with all of you. I hate you! You are ALL now my enemies! I have half a mind to get an AK-47 and shoot you, and I’m sure the courts would support my actions! GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE YOU AWFUL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!”
Then, she methodically de-friended 812 of her 813 friends “with extreme prejudice”, keeping her “friend” relationship with her Aunt Midge.
“Midge and I have an awesome CC tournament underway, and it’s a hoot,” Ms. Minkertom told The Lint Screen. “We also play Farmville and harvest bushels of fun together. It’s a blast!”
Mark Zuckerberg and other Facebook officials could not be reached for comment.