Obama To Rename More U.S. Landmarks

President Barack Obama is on a roll. After announcing his plan to change the name of Alaska’s Mt. McKinley to Mt. Denali, The Lint Screen has learned he has other name changes he’ll soon put in place. The Washington Monument will soon be renamed Pointy Cement Skyscraper. The Statue of Liberty will carry the moniker … Read more

Warren G. Harding Was Ashley Madison Member

Following the recent news that Warren G. Harding, the 29th President of the United States fathered a love child in 1919 with Nan Britton, The Lint Screen has learned he was also one of the earliest members of the Ashley Madison extramarital affairs website. The Ashley Madison website was recently hacked and a list of … Read more

Amazon Announces “Urchin Prime” Service

Amazon, the internet everything store, has come under a barrage of bad publicity following a scathing expose of its high pressure working conditions in The New York Times. Today The Lint Screen learned that the company is fighting back–– with a new service that it says “shows compassion and concern for our best customers, while … Read more

College Student Demands Protection From World

C. Daniel Wisterdom will be entering Middlebury College next week, and is already threatening lawsuits against this respected Vermont liberal arts mecca, The Lint Screen has learned from hanging out in the quad. “I am very concerned Middlebury may book a so-called edgy comedian,” said the rising freshman majoring in Humanity Theoretical Studies, “and I … Read more

Minnesota Dentist Kills Leopard At Zoo

Dr. Walter Palmer is a very angry man. Following last week’s news that he had killed beloved Zimbabwean lion Cecil, the Minnesota dentist was struck by an onslaught of negative publicity and threats. But those didn’t stop this brave Novocain shooter–– he’s struck again! This time, the deadeye tooth-driller slew a caged Amur Leopard named … Read more