Corona Changing Name to “U.S.A.”

Who needs lime?
Who needs lime?

The beer battles are on!

Following the announcement that number one domestic beer Budweiser will be changing its name to “America” on packaging, the number one Mexican beer Corona today unveiled plans to change its name to U.S.A.

“We are not going to be out-patriotized by a Belgium-owned brewer,” Corona spokesperson Margarita Diaz told The Lint Screen. “We are even going to promote serving bottles of U.S.A. with slices of apple because apples are what’s used to make mom’s apple freaking pie! Bam, Bud! Bam!”

When asked for a comment, a spokesman for Budweiser said, “Corona’s obviously desperate. What a pathetic gimmicky stunt. It cheapens their brand. They better sell what they can while they can because after we get our new wall built, they won’t even be able to get into America, the country–– not the beer.”

Pabst Blue Ribbon is still Pabst Blue Ribbon.

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