The world is on edge as celebrity behemoths Kayne West and Taylor Swift engage in an epic spat for the ages.
“I’m worried sick,” renowned peace negotiator Dr. Lawrence Passemet of Oxford University told The Lint Screen in his distinct and pleasant British baritone. “This situation is incredibly tense and it could destabilize quickly, throwing world financial markets into a tailspin. I just hope this doesn’t start a nuclear war or something worse–– like more celebrity backstabbing in public.”
At issue is whether Kayne told Taylor he was including her in his insightful poetry from his blockbuster song “Famous”–– “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.”
Taylor has vehemently denied she was ever told of the lyric, but last night on the #1 show of Mensa members, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim Kardashian revealed alleged video showing Kayne calling Taylor for approval. In it, we hear someone who sounds like Taylor say, “It’s kind of like a compliment.”
BOOM! Can you imagine!
But today, Taylor is all like “I never said that” and all like “Nuh-huh! You lie!” And the K-Camp is all like “Uh huh, video don’t lie!”
And, well, you see how this could escalate quickly.
There is no word if this critical issue will be addressed in either upcoming U.S. political conventions, but somehow presidential candidates will have to address this brouhaha.
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