Month: April 2020

Jared Kushner is disgusted. He is livid some “unpatriotic Americans” are not supporting his father-in-law. “The president has done an incredible job,” Ivanka’s husband told The Lint Screen. “He has been laser-focused on the pandemic for years and he has assembled a team of the smartest people in the world to battle it. And we’ve … Read more

Vice President Mike Pence plays hardball when it comes to health care. The man who President Donald “I am doing an incredible job, a perfect job” Trump charged with heading up the coronavirus task force made a trip to the Mayo Clinic to see life on the frontlines of the battle. While the Mayo Clinic … Read more

A global pandemic might rattle some leaders, but fortunately, the United States of America has a stable genius as the helm. At yesterday’s press briefing, President Donald Trump was ridiculed by the lamestream media for his revolutionary idea that injecting disinfectants could eliminate the coronavirus. Today he doubled down. “The fake news doesn’t get it,” … Read more

Before he became Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp was a successful businessman making money in agribusiness,  financial services, and real estate. Now he has set his astute business mind to a new industry–– death! Kemp came to The Lint Screen offices to discuss his new business venture. “My daddy always told me, he said, son–– when … Read more

A patriot is someone who loves liberty and country more than life itself. Many angry patriots are taking to the street and protesting against “the unlawful lockdown demanded by brainiacs who believe in science.” The Lint Screen dispatched a reporter who was expendable to cover this breaking story, and here is his report: A group … Read more

Attorney General Bill Barr is a man who believes in justice, and in his opinion, justice is not being served to President Donald J. Trump. “It’s a disgrace,” Barr said as he walked into the offices of The Lint Screen at high noon with his light lunch of a six-foot Italian sub sandwich and a … Read more