Judge Amy Coney Barrett is an artful dodger.

During her Supreme Court nomination hearings, the legal beagle would not be pinned down by Democrat Senators who wanted to know her judicial views on Obamacare, Roe v Wade, or the upcoming election and the powers of the president to influence its outcome in his favor.

“I can’t answer that,” was her constant refrain to inquisitions on those subjects. “Not until I look at the cases presented.”

She also would not be cornered on her views of many freedoms guaranteed by The Bill of Rights, like the freedom of speech, a free press, the right to assemble, and unreasonable search and seizure.

“It’s difficult to say,” she said. “I am an originalist. I would have to look closely at the cases presented, discuss them with my colleagues, and weigh the arguments. But since the Bill of Rights was not part of the original Constitution, it was drafted years later, I’m unsure. If we examine all the fake news lambasting our glorious leader, which is very unfair, and the outrageous protests against law and order, well, one could argue some of these so-called rights deserve further scrutiny.”

The Republican Senators began a wave that went through the hearing room as many shouted “whoo-whoo,” did fist bumps, tore off their masks, and pantomimed wiping their butts. Sen. Lindsey Graham did a moonwalk, then brought down his gavel to restore order. The good judge continued.

“I do know that God Almighty guided the hands of our founding fathers in drafting the original Constitution,” she said. “Although The Bill of Rights was not part of the original Constitution, I do believe in the right to bear arms. I think we can all agree that the Good Lord wants us to be locked and loaded as a safeguard against Satan in his many guises. But many of the other alleged rights may be subject to further examination. Hard to say. But we must always remember the sacred wisdom of our founding fathers. They were men. Men always know best. And these wise men knew what would be best for us then, and well into the twenty-first century and beyond.”

She did have reassuring words on her complete impartiality.

“I will make the decisions God tells me to make,” she declared.

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