Month: November 2020

Fred Trump officially died in 1999, but like herpes, he hasn’t gone away. The president’s father has been watching his son Donald for a long time, and he reached out from beyond the grave to give an exclusive interview to his favorite news source, The Lint Screen. “I’ve been dead over 20 years,” Fred said, … Read more

While Jared and Ivanka are “all in” on Team Trump, they are making plans should Joe Biden, Hugo Chavez, Brian Kemp, and The Harlem Globetrotters cheat Donald J. Trump out of his second term (which he won in a landslide!). Today the couple affectionately known as Javanka announced plans for a major entrepreneurial gambit, the … Read more

Donald J. Trump has one again shatters presidential norms! Every U.S. president since George H.W. Bush has issued a presidential pardon to a Tom Turkey in honor of Thanksgiving (but their gooses were cooked when Christmas came and their heads hit the chopping block). Not so with President Trump. The loser of his re-election bid was … Read more

Rudy Giuliani may have made his bones as the Mayor of New York City, but he will be best remembered for his heroic efforts to save democracy by ensuring President Donald J. Trump receives justice in the presidential election in which he was cheated. The following is the transcript of a recent trial in Pennsylvania … Read more

Melania Trump is excited she’ll be moving soon. “Donald got his butt kicked in the election,” she told The Lint Screen. “Sleepy Joe beat him by five million votes. Five million! But baby Donald has been yelling and screaming, ‘I won, I won!’ He is so angry he had the Secret Service go to an … Read more

The Trump family sticks together like stink on a skunk. Today Eric Trump called The Lint Screen with new wild claims about the 2020 presidential election. “Dad won in a landslide,” the least-liked-by-his-father Trump son said. “The Democrats robbed him blind, and we want justice.” Eric excused himself to make a PB&J sandwich because he … Read more