Month: February 2021

GOP Zealots praise their golden god, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me”

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The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) has kicked off, and America had better get ready to feel the love of true Trumpers. CPAC is known as the Lollapalooza of the lunatic fringe, where rabid Republicans gather like moths to a flame and worship their god, disgraced former President Donald J. Trump, who they believe to … Read more

Gaetz blames Ted Cruz’s daughters for insurrection, “They must be grounded”

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Today’s ‘Florida man’ news story is a doozy. Florida’s Republican Congressional Representative Matt Gatez told The Lint Screen the insurrection on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol was the direct result of Ted Cruz’s twelve and ten-year-old daughters. “Those girls are born troublemakers,” the righteous politician claims. “They forced poor Senator Cruz to take an … Read more

Johnson claims Antifa, illegals, and actors were behind Capitol invasion

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Wisconsin Republican Sen. Ron Johnson should not be around sharp objects. He could hurt himself. The unhinged looney spun his ridiculous conspiracy theories yesterday at the first public Senate hearing about the Capitol attack on January 6. “I’m sick and tired of people blaming supporters of President Trump,” Johnson told The Lint Screen. “I wanted … Read more

“My awful kids forced me into a Cancun vacation,” Cruz says

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Caroline and Catherine Cruz may be children, but that doesn’t give them a license to force their father into politically sticky situations! Texas Senator Ted Cruz told The Lint Screen his two “awful daughters” are responsible for his ill-timed family vacation in Cancun, Mexico. “I wanted to stay in Houston,” Cruz claims. “I was going … Read more