Eric Trump, The Trump Organization’s executive vice president of shady operations and price gouging, can’t seem to get his story straight.

In 2019, Eric claimed the government saved money when his father, disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump, stayed at one of their properties.

“We give the Secret Service a super sweet deal,” he said straight-faced. “We charge them, like, $50. If they stayed at a hotel across the street, they’d be charged $500. Trump is saving the taxpayers a fortune because my pops is such a generous guy.”

In 2020, Eric claimed the rooms were provided at “cost” or severely discounted rates. “We’re saving taxpayers a bundle,” he said. “You can always count on Trump for such a good deal. We’re all about saving America.”

But recently, The Lint Screen learned the Trump International Hotel in D.C. had been charging Secret Service Agents up to $1,185 a night to stay there––over four times the  approved government rate.

“If that’s true,” Eric said recently, “then I’m sure we gave them lots of perks like mints on the pillows, electromagnets to erase emails and messages, and fluffy towels and small bars of good-smelling soap.”

Trump visited his properties over 500 times during his corrupt reign, and the Secret Service came along for the ride to the tune of $1.4 million charged to taxpayers, not counting the security details of his no-good offspring when they stayed at Trump Properties.

“We’ve had record years of revenue when pops was President,” Eric says, smiling. “And what’s good for Trump is always good for America because my dad works hard to make America great again.”

Eric realizes he said the quiet part out loud. “At least we didn’t have the January sixth war room on a Trump Property. That was at the Willard Hotel. Why don’t you nosy reporters go badger them?”

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