Disgraced ex-president/felon/sexual assaulter Donald J. Trump is outraged with the media’s coverage of Kamela Harris’ presidential campaign.
“They say her campaign is joyful,” Trump told The Lint Screen at a conference in Erie, Pennsylvania, “but they’re wrong, like always. So wrong. My campaign is the joyful one.”
Trump claims that Harris has manufactured large, happy crowds at her rallies.
“It’s all AI,” Trump says. “Completely fake. She has to create these big crowds because no one likes her. She might be the most unpopular person in the world. Very unlikable. A nasty woman. Communist. Hates kids. Very bad. She wants to kill pets.“
The Republican candidate believes he will beat Harris in a landslide.
“The polls are all wrong,” Trump says. “The polls are talking to people created by AI. They’re all fake. I’m killing her in the real polls with real people. Everyone loves me because I lift people up––I make them happy. So happy. They know only I can make America great again. Again. A man came up to me the other day with tears in his eyes. He said, ‘Mr. President, you are like sunshine. Whenever I see you, I feel warm. You make me feel joy. So much joy.’ And I told him to get out of the way, I didn’t have time, and to keep his germs to himself. But he loves me. That guy loves me so much.”
The things Vice President nominee Tim Walz has said about the GOP get under his orange skin.
“Walz said we’re weird,” Trump says. “That’s a lie. We’re normal, very normal. JD Vance and I are just regular guys—ordinary fellows. And we’re so much richer than Walz or Harris. They’re the weird ones. They didn’t even go to Ivy League schools or make millions like us. Of course, I made billions—so many billions. No one’s ever seen the kind of money I make. I’m incredibly rich and normal. And very stable. So sane. And smart. So smart. My uncle taught at M.I.T. I have a very big brain. I’m a stable genius. Everyone says so. And I make people happy because my campaign is the joyful one with my positive message that’s like sunshine and…”
He continued droning for another two hours as his audience snuck away.
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Read PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is Wilder than a Circus,” a twisted, funny ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. The book is also available as an audiobook. Buckle up and go.
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