“No One’s Treated Worse Than Me,” New Temp Guy whines.


Convicted felon and sexual assaulter whine about his new job.

Twice-impeached disgraced felon Ex-President Donald J. Trump turned a staged photo op into a bitch session.

“It was awful what they did to me at McDonald’s,” the fat baby tells The Lint Screen. “They made me stand at a hot oil machine to look like I was making french fries. It was very hot. No one’s ever had to withstand such heat. Not even Satan.”

Trump is visibly upset as he recalls his grueling 10-minute “work shift.”

“They encouraged me to keep working,” he says. “They said I was almost done. I said, can’t you just throw some ice into this hot grease to cool it down? And they said, ‘Sir, that’s a brilliant idea.’ They had tears in their eyes. ‘But it might be dangerous, sir.’ I fired the sass-back talkers.

His personal fluffer, Stephen Miller, came with a bucket of ice and asked Trump to stand far away. Miller suffered first-degree burns and was rushed to a hospital.

“I got bored,” Trump says. “After three minutes of looking like I was working, I demanded a break,” he explains. “But they said they were almost done taking pictures and encouraged me to look like I was working a little longer. I had already put in a full day. It was cruel how hard they worked me.”

The senile old man had one more fake photo op: he was supposed to appear to work the drive-thru window. That didn’t go well.

“They made me stand at a small glass thing,” Trump whines. “And I had to hand food in bags to people. I said, ‘Here’s your goddamn food; now get the hell out of here before I have you shot.”

The director said he could “fix it in the edit.” Trump was praised for his excellent work as his army of sycophants and hangers-on mobbed him.

The entitled brat, who was born on third base but claimed he hit a home run and was cheated, is bitter about his “grueling” McDonald’s experience.

“I worked my ass off,” the would-be dictator says. “No one’s ever worked so hard or been treated worse. Not Kamel-la-palooza, not anyone. If everyone in America worked as hard as me, we wouldn’t be the shithole country we are.”

This is a peek into our glorious future under this great leader.

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is Wilder than a Circus,” a twisted, funny ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. The book is also available as an audiobook. Buckle up and go.


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