President Elon Musk brought his four-year-old son, Lil X, to the Oval Office for a press conference with acting President Trump.
“That damn kid drove me nuts,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “He’s a brat. The little prick wiped his disgusting boogers on my desk. And he told me to ‘shut up.’ I’m the president! I can change the name of large bodies of water, release my army of dangerous thugs from prison, claim foreign countries for America––I can even plan luxury resorts in wartorn areas––I can do whatever the hell I want. No one tells me to shut up. That’s treason. Disgraceful treason. So, I had Elon’s kid arrested and sent to Gitmo. Maybe a few years in solitary confinement will teach the boy some manners.”
Elon Musk apologized for his son’s behavior.
“Lil X is a wild child,” Musk says. “I couldn’t find a sitter on short notice. Plus, they’re so expensive––some want like twenty, twenty-two bucks an hour! Who can afford that?! So, I decided to bring the boy with me. It was all very innocent and kind of fun.”
“That little brat is very nasty,” Trump says. “Maybe he’ll learn some manners in Gitmo. And if he doesn’t, I’ll have him deported. I’ll get him on one of your flights to Mars, Elon.”
“That’d be cool by me, Donnie T,” Elon said, adjusting his black MAGA hat while doing a line of ketamine off the resolute desk. “I like Lil X, but I’ll just make some more. It’s no biggie.”
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