A peek inside the big guy’s noggin

Using the latest AI technology, The Lint Screen was able to eavesdrop on the thoughts of President Donald J. Trump as he viewed his combination birthday-military parade on Saturday. Here is a sampling of what was happening in the mind of the “stable genius.”

Look at that–a tank! I used to have a tank toy when I was a kid. It was a good tank. The best tank. Tanks can go BANG-BANG. I need to send tanks to Los Angeles and teach those radical liberal lunatics a lesson.

Maybe send tanks and bombers to get Elon––the ungrateful bastard. I made him.

Why don’t the soldiers march in perfect formation? In China, Russia, and North Korea, the soldiers march in perfect lines. It’s like watching the Rockettes in uniforms. Hell, even the French know how to march. I need to chew Hegseth’s ass for this treasonous act.

The American flag’s too busy. All those stars and stripes– that’s not classy. We need a gold flag with my face on it and the word TRUMP! That will tell the world America is great again. I’ll tell Stephen Miller to make it happen. I’ll give him a rat treat. He loves those. The guy will do anything for a disgusting rat.

Is Little Marco yawning? He’s ruining the parade. I’ll kick his scrawy ass. He’s embarrassing me.

I’m the most powerful man in the world. I can do a lot better than Melania. She’s getting a little rough around the edges. She won’t get the plastic surgery I want. She’s a traitor. Not such a nice lady. Maybe I’ll trade her in on a newer model.

Where are all my fans? I got elected in the largest landslide ever. There must be a big traffic jam. Or maybe everyone died. There must be some reason there aren’t more people here. Did the Democrats set up roadblocks? Something’s wrong.

This parade is low energy. (SIGH) Maybe I’ll launch some nukes. That’d be a good show. It’d get big ratings. The best ratings ever!

I am God.

No, I’m better than God.

Why didn’t my parents hug me once in a while?

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.