The Lint Screen

Author: PD Scullin

  • Julia & Basterds

    Julie & Julia meet Inglourious Basterds. One movie features Nazis, the other Beef Bourguignon. One has sadistic scenes, and to stay engaged with the other can be a sadistic challenge at times.

    The movie falls flatter than a one egg souffle.
    The movie falls flatter than a one egg souffle.
    I’d heard good things about Julie & Julia, and I always liked watching Julia Child on TV cooking some complex recipe mere mortals would never attempt. So, I walked into the theatre with great expectations. Exiting the theatre, my expectations were crushed like a one egg souffle. Julie & Julia didn’t deliver for me.

    Yes, Meryl is phenomenal as Julia, but Meryl is always terrific and this performance is more impersonation than character creation. Stanley Tucci brings a nice performance as Julia’s hubby and Jane Lynch steals every scene as Julia’s sister. But, the story of making a French cookbook for English speaking people is hardly interesting and rarely entertaining.

    NOW, gently fold that story in with another story about a frustrated writer who cooks the entire Child cookbook over a one year span and blogs about it, and well, you have an odd stew of a film.

    Julie is played by Amy Adams, who is usually fun to watch. Her character here is an insecure narcissist in an apron. She’s married to a milquetoasty guy played by Chris Messina who is supportive but frustrated by the blogging project. Wah wah wah.

    The movie written and directed by Nora Ephron, usually a gifted writer. The screenplay was based on two separate books, Julia’s memoirs from 1949 and Julie’s book of recent time recounting her blogging project. But just because the subject matter is common to both, the flavors do not belong together. This movie is like vanilla and vinegar. A disappointment, a bad taste. Pity.

    Now let’s cleanse our palates with a sorbet of Basterds.

    Well, now look what QT's got cooking this time around...
    Now look what QT’s got cooking this time around…

    Like the Coen Brothers, Quentin Tarantino makes films you have to see for no other reason than to get his unique perspective on whatever the film’s about. This time it’s about Nazis and a history re-write with a band of Jewish American soldiers (Inglourious Basterds) giving the goosesteppers what-for behind enemy lines. Even ol’ Adolf gets his comeuppance.

    Like any Tarantino film, the dialogue is terrific in developing memorable characters as plotlines intertwine like origami figures. Like any Tarantino film, there’s tension built to keep your eyes riveted to the screen, followed by hyper-violence that begs you to look away. Like any Tarantino film, it is a celebration of film genres, movie magic, cinematography and interesting camerawork.

    Yes, it’s chatty at times, but with Tarantino dialogue you won’t mind. Brad Pitt is wonderful as the Tennessee Basterd leader, Lt. Aldo Raine. He lays on a southern accent thick as cold molasses on dog fur. The powerhouse performance comes from Austrian actor Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa. Waltz may be shaking hands with Oscar for this gem.

    While not Tarantino’s best film, the Basterds are worth spending some time with and will give you plenty of images to replay for a long time afterwards.

  • Economic Meltdown Made Simple

    The economy’s ugly and it’s hurting a lot of people. Political pundits point fingers and flap their yaps endlessly about who is at fault. Not to worry, there’s plenty of blame to go around.

    The little film does a brilliant job of explaining the entire sorted stew in just over 11 minutes. The staff of economists at The Lint Screen vouch that as far as we can tell it’s pretty spot-on about who did what, when, where, how and why.

    Spend a little time and learn a lot. Let’s hear your reactions. Accurate? Bull? Fluff? And how do you feel about these same scumbuckets still getting paid bonuses out the wazoo? Sorry, that was neither fair nor balanced…

    The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

  • That’s Amore

    A wife can forgive the 'other woman', can't she?
    A wife can forgive the ‘other woman’, can’t she?
    Bernie Madoff is serving a 150-year prison sentence for hoodwinking investors out of millions. Now one of those investors, Sheryl Weinstein, claims Bernie also stole her heart. In her soon to be published book, she confesses to have been involved in an affair with Madoff for over 20 years. Despite this new scandalous revelation, Bernie Madoff’s legal wife, Ruth, sent the following letter to the judge overseeing Mr. Madoff’s case.

    Dear Your Most Honored Honor:

    Back in June, you sentenced my loving husband, Bernard Madoff (Prisoner #61727-054), to serve 150-years in federal prison for his crimes of bilking innocent investors out of countless millions, their precious dreams and the remains of their sacred lives.

    My husband is a good man, an honorable man, a 71-year old man. I am writing you with a sincere request.

    If he serves his full term, Bernie will not be released until June 4, 2159. Your Honorable Honor, if you would shed some mercy, I implore you to reduce his sentence to an early release date of June 4, 2158. Please, let him enjoy some free time before his time is up.

    Thank you, kind sir. In closing, I must mention that Bernie told me that you appear to be gaining a lot of weight. He said even in your black robe, you appear to be morbidly obese.

    Best wishes,

    Ms. Ruth Madoff
    Standing By Her Man As Best She Can

  • Woodstock Memories

    See me? 481st row, 134th from left, wearing a porkpie hat. Winking.
    See me? 281st row, 134th from left, wearing a porkpie hat. Winking.

    It was supposed to be a little concert in upstate New York. Just some friends, some music, some good times. It became a legendary rock concert and historic event. Even though I was just a kid from northeastern Ohio, I was there and kept a haphazard journal. Here are my notes from 40 years ago (scribbled on a Big Chief tablet):

    Met some black dude named Jimi. Says he’s playing guitar on Sunday and wants to make a political statement. Says he’s thinking of playing “The Hokey-Pokey” because in Vietnam, you’re either in, you’re out, or you’re shaking it all about. I tell him it seems kinda heavy-handed. I suggest he plays “The Star Spangled Banner” and let people draw their own conclusions. He threw me his guitar and said, “Thanks, kid.” I wonder if he’s really playing or just kidding me…

    Some of the younger kids are talking. Rumors going ’round is that the yellow Pez are cool. Orange are nice. BUT DO NOT take the purple Pez. They’re really, really sour.

    Have given up on the idea of introducing myself to everyone here. After 14 straight hours of doing it, feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface. It’s also nearly impossible to remember all their names.

    Rain. Mud. Stink like a wet monkey riding a wet donkey. Apparently there is no deodorant concession stand. Moisture also makes hair unmanageable.

    Met a dude named Willie and his old lady Mildred. She was having a hard time getting her walker through the mud.

    Where’s The 1910 Fruitgum Company? I thought they were playing… No Cowsills, yet, either… Herb Alpert & The Tiajuana Brass?

    A Woodstock Poem: Love is in the air. Love is everywhere. Love to love this loving love. Love. Love. I hate those who can’t love. Love or die. Love or die. Love or I spit in your eye. Love, for crying out loud–LOVE!!!

    Been holding this pee in for nine hours. I wish this bathroom line would move.

    All these incredible young people, free spirits, open minds, all gathered together– baptized by rain, rock, and love. This world is going to be such a trippy, beautiful, peaceful place when these hippies take over and everyone just loves everyone and digs on everything. No more war, hate, pollution, prejudice, pain, flat tires, hunger, fallen arches, poverty, charlie horses in the middle of the night… no, man, it’s all going to be better. The world will change and it’s all going to be cool. Of this I am sure.

  • Modern Mad Men

    Came across this cool trailer for a movie that’s out. How many of these people do you recognize? If you’re not in advertising, you’re forgiven for seeing strangers. If you’re in advertising and they’re strangers, wallow in ignorance and shame.

  • The Most, The Best

    All hail the creators of “The Most Interesting Man in the World” campaign for Dos Equis beer. Let us now sing the praises of this brilliant campaign.

    It does not talk about beer ingredients.
    It does not feature hot babes lusting for dudes who hold the product.
    It does not perpetuate the battle of the sexes with sophomoric gags.
    It does not exude fake sincerity and empathy for its audience.
    It does not feature brewers or their brewing secrets.
    For the love of beauty product shots, it doesn’t even have a beer pour!

    Our hero is a man with robust facial hair and adventurous tales that would have made Hemingway pee his pants in fear and caused Norman Mailer to sit down and shut his pie-hole.

    In commercials he is described this way:
    “His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.”
    “The police often question him… just because they find him so interesting.”
    “His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.”
    “He once had an awkward moment just to know how it feels.”
    “His blood smells like cologne.”
    “He lives vicariously… through himself.”

    Little wonder “his reputation is expanding faster than the universe.”

    This campaign broke a couple years ago, and its legend continues as it breaks all the conventions of beer advertising and becomes a cultural phenomenon. Imagine the bravery of a client who approved the line “The Most Interesting Man” speaks toward the end of each spot, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.”

    WHAT! That’s the softest sell ever.
    “I don’t always drink beer” (hey, who’s paying for this spot?!)…
    “but when I do” (you better drink it, it’s in your contract, mister…)
    “I prefer Dos Equis.” (“Prefer?!” How about “I INSIST it be great tasting, double-hopped, crystal spring water cold filtered for extra flavor-liciousness Dos Equis!”)

    The most interesting thing about “The Most Interesting Man” campaign is this: the execution IS the idea. Once, this idea would have been killed because “any beer could say it.” So what? Any beer didn’t say it. Dos Equis did, and they created a man, a myth and a beer legend that will endure for quite some time.

    In a flat beer sales environment, Dos Equis is up, way up. It’s great when great advertising works.

    “Stay thirsty, my friends.” We will, we will.

    It’s my favorite beer campaign since The Swedish Bikini Team for Old Milwaukee. Well, lookee here… a link to more about that infamous campaign.