PD Scullin

I'm a smart ass humorist, ex-adman, founder of ASO Advertising, Atlanta. I will soon be publishing my first novel, SAWDUST. Look for it on Amazon. I have another website of marketing pontification–– http://www.EmpatheticAdman.com. I also once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

PETA Pity Party

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“It was one of the cruelest, most inhumane acts I’ve ever witnessed,” said Daniel Wurtkingle, a PETA activist in Washington, D.C., “Obama flat-out murdered that defenseless, innocent housefly in cold blood.” As Mr. Wurtkingle’s eyes filled with tears, a cockroach scampered across his left arm. He looked on, nonplussed.

Communications Breakthrough!

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I had Tweeted, e-mailed, Facebooked, blogged, vlogged, My Spaced, Google Grouped, You Tubed, Second Lifed, wikied, podcasted, Plaxoed, Linked-In, every form of social networking– I even went old school Alex G. Bell on a handset, but none of it was working.

Then I did something truly incredible: I arranged a ‘face-to-face meeting.’

Did ASO Kill GM?

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In 1998, we made a bold decision. We took a stand that was so radical, so revolutionary, so completely counter-culture, it shook the marketing world like Jello on a jackhammer. We decided to plant our feet firmly and declare accounts we would not work on– refusing easy money on strong principles.

Pre-K Commencement Address

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Recently I was asked to give the commencement address to “The Cherished Sweet Angels Pre-K” graduating class. Here’s my speech in its entirety with editorial comments:

Good morning, Cherished Sweet Angels, and congratulations on receiving a sheepskin for doing little more than poking straws into juice boxes and for rarely mistaking glue sticks for ChapSticks. (TITTERS OF NERVOUS LAUGHTER FROM PARENTS AND CHILDREN.) For these incredible accomplishments we are gathered to honor and blow smoke up your graduation gowns. (ANGRY STARES FROM PARENTS. CHILDREN LOOK BORED.)