The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
PD Scullin Now that 70-year old Bernie Madoff has been tucked away in prison for up to 150 years (which is not a life sentence given that Madoff sold his soul to live forever), the notorious swindler is in a new legal battle with John Thain, ex-Chairman and CEO of Merrill Lynch.
I read somewhere “Ask and ye shall receive.” So, I’ve asked just about everyone I’ve ever met for $16 million and some cashmere socks. So far, no takers.
However, in my “About da Blog” section of this website, I asked if anyone had pictures of squirrels dressed as blacksmiths. Lo and behold, someone did– a bright young man named Scott. Here’s the goods.
Pacific Coast Highway, somewhere in Malibu. I woke up, hydraulic pistons inside my head doing a number on my skull– like Keith Moon on an angry expresso bender. My eyes were crusted. Two vultures in a tree looked down on me hungrily. Seeing me move, they slowly flap their wings and take flight, disgusted.
It’s a couple days after the Academy Awards after-parties, and this intrepid reporter will do his best to hunt and peck out the stories I have seen. The ones I remember, at least.
Hollywood was stunned, shocked and bedazzled with the many surprises that strolled along the red carpet prior to the 2009 Academy Awards Ceremonies.
Penelope Cruz couldn’t afford a new dress so she wore some old number that had the faint scent of mothballs and pipe tobacco. She won an Oscar for her acting in Vicky Cristina Barcelona and to goose her future salary so she can afford a new garment some day soon.
Before the stars begin traipsing down the red carpet, The Lint Screen proudly predicts who will clutch statues of golden glory and who grasp fistfuls of disappointment and heartache.
Were it not for Abraham Lincoln, our sweet 16 president, these United States would not be quite so united. The other day was Lincoln’s 200th birthday, and were he alive today, he would be the oldest man ever–– paying some of the highest health insurance premiums ever.