DeSantis: “I’m a prick, I hate just about everyone”

Sunny Florida’s dark despot, Gov. Ron DeSantis, is traveling America, making his case for being our next president. He claims his biggest asset is hating. “If someone’s different from me,” DeSantis tells The Lint Screen, “I’ll hate them with the fiery passion of 1,000 hellfires. I’ll take away their rights and freedoms, ban their books, … Read more

“Who would believe me?” Trump asks after audio leak

Oh, that, Donald! You never know what he’ll do next. After the recent release of an audio tape with the twice-impeached disgraced ex-President, as he showed top secret Iran invasion war plans to visitors, Trump vehemently denies it. “There were no secret plans,” the con man says. “I was showing plans for–– I don’t know–– … Read more

“Hunter’s sweetheart deal threatens law-abiding Americans,” says Boebert

Feisty patriot Rep. Lauren Boebert is outraged at “the gross, God-awful injustice” received by Hunter Biden. “This guy got a little slap on the wrist and a Hershey’s kiss,” Boebert tells The Lint Screen. “The illegal Justice Department is sending vicious attack dogs to bloody our great leader Donald Trump––and all he did was attempt … Read more

Trump: “I took nuclear secrets to protect U.S. from Biden”

Oh, Donald, you’re a rascal! Disgraced twice-impeached, convicted sexual abuser, woman defamer, under criminal indictment in New York City over a hush-money case, with ongoing criminal investigations in at least two other cases, ex-president Donald J. Trump is in some serious hot water in Florida. Last week he was indicted in Florida on 37 criminal … Read more

DeSantis: “I’ll eliminate Disney and make America the happiest place on earth.”

Florida Governor and Republican presidential candidate Ron DeSantis is making his anti-Disney position a key plank in his campaign. “Disney is the greatest threat to American democracy,” DeSantis tells The Lint Screen. “We must reject Disney’s woke agenda of indoctrinating our innocent Christian children, and when I am elected president, I will destroy them.” The … Read more