The rumor mill is grinding furiously that the new candidate will not be an adorably cute animal, single celled organism or lizard-like creature. Speculation is it could be a ghost (the ghosts of Abe Lincoln, Conway Twitty and Gene Rayburn have been mentioned), an alien or an inanimate object from the broom family. Heavy speculation is a whisk broom, although smart money favors a fireplace broom–– either could be a serious contender.
At any rate, other candidates in the race are said to be very afraid of yet another hat in the ring for the highest office in the land, even though it is on the ground floor of the White House.
The Lint Screen will break this story first. It’s what we do. Depend on it.