The Lint Screen

Tag: Chris Lee

  • Weiner & Lee Battle

    Weiner brings it strong!

    Lee refuses to back down.
    Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) says former Rep. Chris Lee (R-N.Y.) is not worthy to shed his shirt when in the company of ‘Weinermeister.’

    “Look, Lee has a decent bod, I get that, but he didn’t have game,” a confident Weiner told reporters. “A little flex don’t get it done these days. You’d better bring some serious trouser time if you want to make an impression these days!”

    “I don’t play blue,” Lee responded. “I’ve got an image to keep. Weiner’s cheap trash.”

    An irate Weiner responded. “You tell pretty boy he tucked tail and ran scared. He resigned his House seat– left it wet. But not this stud muffin. I’m here, baby, here to stay all the way and show my wares to anyone’ll look! Wait’ll you see what’s next on Weinertime Theatre!”

    A rumor circulated that many more House Representatives were ready to enter the skin competition. The 112 th Congressional cheesecake calendar will be out shortly. Vote early and often.

  • Chris Lee Shirt Fund Started

    Won’t you help buy lil’ Chris a shirt to wear?
    Amid the turmoil of the sudden resignation of Republican New York Congressman Chris Lee comes shocking new revelations.

    While early reports were that the 46-year old married father resigned his position as a result of a recently released photo of himself shirtless that appeared along with a flirtatious message in response to a woman’s Craigslist ad, new allegations offer a surprisingly different take.

    An anonymous source close to Mr. Lee reports that the politician resigned not because of allegations of immoral behavior, but rather because of the shame suffered by the public display of his extreme poverty.

    “The simple fact is that Chris Lee could not afford a shirt. Has not been able to afford one for some time. He had found a fancy phone on the street and accidentally snapped a picture of himself. That picture somehow ended up on Craigslist. Again, it was not Mr. Lee’s phone and he obviously did not know how the modern contraption worked. Apparently he also had accidentally typed some message. When the revealing picture was made public, the congressman felt such embarrassment and shame at his obvious poverty, he resigned his position so as not to become a damaging reflection on the economic state of his constituents in upstate New York. He is a very proud man and a true patriot!”

    Some concerned citizens have started a fund to raise money to purchase Mr. Lee shirts.

    Others have suggested the government provide him a federally-financed shirt purchasing fund.