Tag: crackerjack

  • Plan Unveiled To Bolster U.S. Economy

    We're rich, I tellas ya, RICH!!! Spend up, live it up!
    A leading economic advisor, Dr. Geoffrey K. Rumdeedumdeedum, has proposed a bold plan he says will goose the economic doldrums the United States economy has been experiencing.

    “We need to finally recognize Monopoly money as legal tender,” says the man who describes himself as a distinguished economist from his home behind a dumpster in an alley outside a Papa John’s Pizza in Lexington, Kentucky.

    “People are afraid to spend because they don’t know what the economy is going to do. Well, let’s give them the power to enjoy spending again. You shouldn’t have to pass ‘GO’ to enjoy yourself. We have the means– just about every household has a Monopoly game– let’s use it! I think it’s a crackerjack idea and crackerjacks usually have a prize inside which is like getting a Bazooka Joe comic inside a chunk of Bazooka gum and by gum I think something or other is just what we need to do so let’s do it. Now, where was I?”

    Government officials have declined comment on the proposal, but irate tea party members say that if it is enacted, they refuse to pay any luxury tax, period.