Tag: ferocious

  • The Ferocious Winds of Change

    A low pressure blast from the past, still on the job in many restrooms. It’s so yesterday.
    If you’re one of those people who washes his/her hands after going to the bathroom (and we all sincerely hope that you are), you may have noticed a revolution of modernity in public restrooms.

    It’s not electric eye-triggered soap dispensers and water facets– which are typically spotty in performance, or robotic toilet tissue dispensers “May I assist in wiping, please, master?”

    No, the real revolution is in hand drying.

    Yes, hand drying.

    It used to be that the Globe Hand Dryer was the pinnacle of hot air-blowing technology, but now it has been blown to the sidelines by a beast that calls itself Xlerator.

    This baby blows air like a politician on the campaign trail.
    The marvel comes in white and hi tech brushed aluminum and expels air like an F-15 engine that’s riled to rip some serious stratosphere.

    If you’ve encountered the Xlerator, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

    Place your wet hands beneath its nozzle and watch as your skin and flesh do their best to stay attached to your skeleton. While the old World Dryer purred with a kitten’s warm breath, Xlerator roars like a ferocious lion. It devours wetness.

    This baby means business and wet hands don’t stand a chance. “Get dry, bitches! DRY!”

    Xlerator is one of the true wonders of the 21st century. It’s what George Jetson might use to dry his hands.

    We’ll assume Rosie may have helped him with the toilet tissue duties.

    Sometimes the future ain’t so pretty.