God & Guns

In Georgia, like many states, we seek protection against the devil and his kin. So, I’m happy to report we recently passed laws to make it legal to take your firearms with you to church. This means you can keep your sidearm close at hand as you rifle through the Good Book. It’s about time. … Read more

The Ugly Horror of Fatz

     As roadside attractions go, it’s hard to top the Gaffney Peach, conveniently located by Interstate-85 in Gaffney, South Carolina. Constructed in 1981, it’s a million dollar water storage tank that’s shaped like… get this… a PEACH!    It’s a wondrous sight when one is zipping along trying to avoid the long radar arm … Read more

Whoops-eee-day-seeeee! (Pt. 4)

  It seems there’s a country named “Georgia” and it’s clear across the world. Why someone would name a country after a state is beyond me (except to fool people), but it seems that the Russians have invaded the country of Georgia, not the state of Georgia where I live. So I feel a little … Read more

Life During Wartime (Pt. 3)

  They’re out there. Somewhere. Out there. I listen closely and can almost hear their dirty commie lung winds being exhaled. I sit and wait. Sit in the dark. Waiting. My finger is perched atop the trigger of a semi-auto bolshevik repeller. I am not afraid to use it. I’m surrounded by ample munitions, Doritos, gummy … Read more

Where’s Waldokov? (Pt. 2)

  The news is ablaze that Russians are invading Georgia. I’ve been sequestered beneath my desk disguised in a unicorn costume (the last thing they’d ever expect to find in Georgia, what with unicorns mostly being extinct and all). But I’ve yet to see any commie aggressors. As this recent picture attests, if the Russians … Read more