al-Qaeda Leader al-Zawahiri Updating Resume

Following the assassination of Osama bin Laden in his Pakistan porn crib on May 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri became the acting leader of the no-goodnik al-Qaeda organization. al-Zawahiri, long recognized as a dastardly mastermind but lacking in the charisma department, is reportedly fed up with leading the organization after almost four months. “He’s had it,” said … Read more

Suspect Nabbed in Farmville Case

The Lint Screen has learned that authorities have apprehended a suspect in the gruesome killings of 246 people in the quiet social gaming community of Farmville. The unnamed suspect had been staying at a Deep Discounter Inn in the nearby town of Shadyville. In an early morning raid Friday, the suspect was taken into custody … Read more