The Lint Screen

Tag: NSA

  • NSA Apprehends Santa Claus

    Officials with The National Security Agency announced today that Santa Claus (AKA: St. Nicklaus, Nicky The Saint, The Lapman, Fluffy Cuffs, The Chimney Packer, Make It Reindeer, Mr. In-The-Present) has been arrested and taken into custody and is being held in an undisclosed location (“Guantanamo,” a little bird told The Lint Screen over four fingers…

  • NSA Investigating North Pole Terrorist Group

    The National Security Agency reported today that it has launched a full scale investigation into a terrorist cell group located in the North Pole region. “This could be huge,” said the unnamed source who stood in the shadows and spoke through a kazoo to scramble his voice. The anonymous source said that the NSA has…

  • “The Man” Gets Finger Poke In Eye

    The Man has been trying to put The Lint Screen down. We’ve experienced lots of technical difficulties over the past couple weeks with our site hosted on GoDaddy servers. Now maybe GoDaddy was taking all that server space to stockpile the brainpower necessary to create its Super Bowl spots known for their intellectual stimulation (among…

  • Al-Cowda Threat Level Raised

    The nation is girding its collective loins in response to new reports from The National Security Agency that Al-Cowda is posing an serious threat to the United States. The NSA has raised the security threat level from cool ‘n creamy soft amber to hot, radient pink.