Global Fears Over Kayne-Taylor Feud
But today, Taylor is all like “I never said that” and all like “Nuh-huh! You lie!” And the K-Camp is all like “Uh huh, video don’t lie!”
Patrick Scullin
Outrage Over Pokémon Go
Although the game is just a week old, Pokemon Go is attracting rage worldwide. First, it was numbskulls playing the augmented reality game at places honoring those who perished in awful realities–– Auschwitz, Arlington National Cemetery, and the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, but now a new group has taken offense, the anti-immigration crowd. “There … Read more
Uh-Oh, Rio–– More Olympics Troubles
With the Summer Olympic Games a month away, the host city is experiencing some slight hiccups, like body parts washing up on the volleyball beach, and police and firefighters on strike, and waters containing super duper bacteria that eat antibiotics for a light snack…
U.K. Announces Earexit; Plan To Leave Earth
First, the British people voted to leave the European Union, and now they’re upping the ante higher–– by leaving planet Earth (“Earexit”)! The Lint Screen has learned that there is a movement underway for the United Kingdom to give the whole damn planet the ol’ high hat. Financial markets worldwide are shaken by this second … Read more
Congress Passes “Thoughts And Prayers” Bill
After four gun control bills were voted down in the Senate and House, lawmakers took decisive action and passed bold legislation that will make post-gun-massacres easier to handle.
The “Thoughts And Prayers” bill will automatically trigger condolences from Senators and Representatives immediately following any major gun incident.
Man Prepares For Presidential Election Season
Timothy Pinkdroll was a Boy Scout, and he’s taking his “be prepared” training to heart as he undergoes extreme conditioning for the upcoming presidential election.