The Lint Screen

Tag: Russians

  • Whoops-eee-day-seeeee! (Pt. 4)

     

    Maybe I should pay closer attention to details...
    Maybe I should pay closer attention to details…

    It seems there’s a country named “Georgia” and it’s clear across the world.

    Why someone would name a country after a state is beyond me (except to fool people), but it seems that the Russians have invaded the country of Georgia, not the state of Georgia where I live.

    So I feel a little foolish writing about a conflict I thought was here when actually it was way over there. I feel sorry for the other Georgia and suggest the Russians go home and chill, for crying out loud. To quote Nick Lowe, “What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding?”

    As for me, maybe I should pay a bit more attention to the news and not be quite so reactionary. Then again, being ever vigilant isn’t such a bad thing, is it? My apologies for the misunderstanding. I blame the media.

  • Where’s Waldokov? (Pt. 2)

     

    How many commies can you count?
    How many commies can you count?

    The news is ablaze that Russians are invading Georgia. I’ve been sequestered beneath my desk disguised in a unicorn costume (the last thing they’d ever expect to find in Georgia, what with unicorns mostly being extinct and all). But I’ve yet to see any commie aggressors.

    As this recent picture attests, if the Russians are on Georgian soil their uniforms are blending right into the landscape. This is what makes the red menace so deadly dangerous. Keep a watchful eye, people, they could be slipping Fluoride into our water supply at this very moment. Why do Stalinists hate dentists so much? It’s just not right! Dentists could help us with off shore drilling, ice caps and bridges.

    Be safe. Stay hidden. Don’t make borscht. We’ll make it through this, somehow.

  • The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming! (Pt. 1)

     

    Have you seen these guys? If so, RUN! HIDE! SWEAT!
    Have you seen these guys? If so, RUN! HIDE! SWEAT!

    I’ve seen the headlines in the newspapers and heard the pretty anchor people on that magic TV box yammering about the Ruskies invading Georgia. Yow-zee ka-powzee wowzee!

    Apparently the commies are running amuck on Georgia red clay trying to slather their political nuttiness on the locals–– keep your lousy bread lines to yourself, comrade, we like our Wonder Bread that builds free nations 12 ways!

    For the record, people, I’ve yet to see any of the pinko buggers here in Atlanta–– and I’ve kept a keen out for them (they’re easy to spot marching in formation).

    If they are here, they’re hiding pretty well. I suggest all Georgians practice caution and keep the doors locked, the powder dry, the freedom running hot and cold!