Democrats running in the midterm elections have been treating President Barack Obama like toxic waste for some time, now his popularity cooties have spread to his offspring.
An anonymous White House sources says that both Malia and Sasha Obama are distancing themselves from their father.
“They think he’s a nice guy and everything, but they believe his economic recovery is too slow and debt is too high,” said the source, whispering with his hand cupped to his mouth. “They also believe his Mideast policy is fuzzy and not nearly aggressive enough,” the tipster said. From the smell of his breath, the secret source likes his onions and garlic.
He continued. “They also want him to body slam Vlad Putin and show some stones in his dealings with the evil commie leader. And they think Obamacare will lead to the fall of civilization and they’re very afraid of its death panels. They also wonder why their father imported Ebola into the United States and why he wants Mexicans to overtake America. The girls have been watching a lot of Fox News lately.”
At school, the daughters have been telling friends they’ve run away from the White House and are living in Sean Hannity’s basement. “It’s obvious the young women are looking to establish their conservative street creds among their peer group. It’s fairly common for girls their age to express themselves this way,” the source said.
The only response from the Oval Office was the muffled crying of a man behind closed doors.