The Lint Screen

Tag: social media

  • Dude Joins Social Media, Finally

    Cool cat to crush it on Facebook, wants ‘thumbs up’ signs!

    Larry Kolirews has always been his own person.

    “Don’t run with the herd, that’s my slogan,” the 56-year-old guitarist and lead singer of Air Supply cover band “Free Luv” told The Lint Screen. But now, he’s finally diving into the modern world by joining the social media revolution.

    “I just opened my own Facebook account,” Larry said, as he chilled post-concert with a Michelob Ultra and lime. “And I’ve already made an update. I posted, ‘Rock on!’ And guess what? My first post out of the gate got a couple thumbs up signs, which is really good, right? I’m killing it.”

    He laughed and brushed back his hair, then he slowly drew on his vape and exhaled a billow of minty smoke.

    The mellow rocker said he resisted joining social media until he was sure it was here to stay. “I’m not one to go out on the ledge, I like to wade my way into the deep waters before jumping in all willy-nilly.”

    Larry says that he’s excited about the potential of his Facebook account. “I’m making all kinds of friends with people I went to high school with. I think I may see if I can change some of their political opinions or religious views. It seems like that’s what friends should do, and I came to play in the social media world, baby!”

    Welcome, Larry. A big thumb up to you!

  • ISIS to Open Social Media Agency

    Crazy terrorists invade social media space.
    ISIS Leader Abu Al Jerrylewis explains why the terrorist organization is invading the social media space.

    The evil band of no-goodniks known as ISIS has long been heralded for its savvy social media skills. The terrorist group’s use of Twitter, Tinder, Facebook, YouTube, Social Sugar Smax!, LinkedIn, eHarmony and Let’s Connect, Okeedokee? has been heralded for generating propaganda and recruiting new psychopathic nut jobs. Now The Lint Screen has learned that ISIS is planning to expand into the hurly burly world of modern marketing by opening a social media agency.

    “It’s a natural extension for us,” said Abu Al Jerrylewis, an ISIS leader who will be heading up the new operation. “We want to use all our social media expertise helping global brands connect with new audiences. Unfortunately, market research has showed that the ISIS brand is despised and feared, so we’re working on a cute approachable name for our new company. Some of the names we’ve been spitballing are Panda Touch, Social Awakenings and Die, Infidel, DIE!!!”

    Industry observers are skeptical if ISIS can successfully make the transition to a social media agency. “I don’t think these guys have any idea what a tough, brutal racquet social media marketing is,” said Gregg Emerflip, a marketing consultant. “ISIS will be going up against the likes of WPP, Omnicom and Havas–– I’m not sure they’re prepared for how vicious it will get.”

    What do you think? Post your opinion on social media, if your Tweet attracts a drone, run!

  • It’s Official: Facebook Toppled Mubarak!

    The media has won its war on pushing the narrative that social media was responsible for the toppling of the 30 year rule of Hosni Mubarak in Egypt.

    “It was a long, tough battle,” said an anonymous source with a large news organization, “but we think we were finally able to sell this idea of the power of Facebook to the public. Even though less than 20% of Egypt has internet access, we’ve been able to promote the incredible power of social media. This is very important to new organizations like ours because more and more we want to rely on the public for our news-gathering, reporting and opinion pieces. Crowdsourcing is simply a much more affordable way for us to run our news operations. We’re using a lot more social commentary for our content for one simple reason: Joe six-pack and Jane goatskin-of-Boone’s-Farm-wine work a lot cheaper than expensive liberal arts-educated journalists with their fancy cargo pants and no-iron shirts.”

    While the news organization official admits that poverty, oppression and high unemployment were factors in the Egyptian revolution, those age-old societal problems did not fit with the ‘21st century social media-as-the-new-power‘ narrative being promoted by major news outlets.

    “Look– hunger, poverty, oppressive government and hopelessness are timeless sparks to incite revolution. They’re like the greatest hits of revolt in history, but there’s no news angle there. We needed some pazazz! Now, you add in the influence of Facebook, and well, sir, you’ve got yourself a bonfire of news appeal because everyone’s on Facebook and they want to feel good about the fact they spend countless hours every day posting pictures of kittens or kids or love poems to their morning coffee. Hey, we all want to believe that the same tool that helps us share cute moments of life can be used to “LIKE” a revolution and topple a corrupt leader! That’s the power of the social network and a successful news narrative that drives down operating costs. “