White Knight Proposes Rescue

In a startling development, a mysterious white knight has come forward with a proposal to rescue the United States economy from the flushing swirly bowl.

The mysterious man goes by the name “Bernie M. Adoff” and has contacted government officials with what he describes as “a foolproof plan to earn 20% annually on your money, easy as pie, with no worries, headaches or hassles”… “just give it to me and watch it grow, Grow, GROW!”