Boehner Blasts Obama For USA Weakness in World Cup

U.S. Speaker of the House, John Boehner, thinks President Barack Obama once again let the nation down by allowing its soccer team to be defeated by Belgium 2-1 in The World Cup quarterfinals yesterday. “Obama once again has shown America weakness,” said Boehner in a prepared statement, “and it’s a disgrace.” Boehner went on to … Read more

BP Blames Terrorist Robots

BP today issued a formal statement charging “evil terrorist robots” for the failure to cap its Deepwater Horizon calamity. “BP is not to blame for this catastrophic oil spill,” the statement begins, “rather, we place the blame squarely on technology, specifically the robots who are supposed to fix the mess. We have repeatedly asked them … Read more