Last week, we American taxpayers bought ourselves AIG. I’ve never owned an insurance company, but I do have a few proposals about running our new enterprise:
- Let’s outsource for cheap labor in China and India.
- Let’s not insure any high risk people.
- Let’s continually raise premiums.
- If there are claims, let’s dispute them.
- Let’s hire an army of lobbyists to get politicians passing laws that favor us.
- Let’s pay ourselves great big paychecks with huge stock options and bonuses.
- If we do happen to get into financial trouble, let’s have some government bail us out.
I’m pretty sure AIG had all those features in place already. We’ll have to think of some new ones.
I think this needs to be distributed to news agencies right this forkin second. And I also think you could make bumper stickers of the AIG logo art and copy you have. You will make some real folding money.