While the world economy melts down like a candle in a blast furnace, I just received the opportunity of a lifetime in my e-mailbox: “My name is Mr. Peter T S Wong director of operations in Heng Seng Bank Hong Kong, I have a Business proposal in the tune of 125,750,000USD.”
I will not print the entire e-mail because frankly this communication is a private matter between myself and my generous benefactor, Mr. Peter T S Wong. The gist of the deal-e-o is this: I get $125 million cool ones after I give Mr. Wong some personal information about myself like my bank account numbers, investment account info, passwords, social security number and such. No biggie. I suppose he just wants to know I’m a good guy who’s fiscally responsible and not some deadbeat schmuck.
Fair enough, Mr. Peter T S Wong! The info is yours.
Cynical folks might wonder why a stranger in Hong Kong would contact me out of the blue with the opportunity to cash in on $125,750,000. Well, I don’t look no gift bankers in the mouth, so you can keep your cynicism to yourself, pal–– I smell the stench of envy on you, and I suppose not even a shower of Brut 33 will mask that.
I’m a lucky man, and I thank my lucky stars to have somehow been contacted by Mr. Peter T S Wong. For now, I’m going to do my level best to jump start this stagnant world economy. I’m going on a massive spending spree. Hey, I’ve almost got my hands on a huge fortune and it’s burning a hole in my pocket.
Thanks, Mr. Peter T S Wong for helping me move to Easy Street.
What’s wong with this picture?