Bernie Madoff, the notorious Wall Street huckster under federal investigation for scamming $50 billion from investors, may have been delivered his karmic comeuppance.
Madoff claims to have recently received an e-mail from an attorney representing a Nigerian Prince. The attorney stated that the deposed Prince was in exile and in desperate need of cash to buy back the throne that was his birthright.
The attorney stated the Prince was willing to sell something he owned that was much more valuable than “mere money” in order to raise the required capital–– “it’s a magic Greek fishing cap that makes its owner as cool as Arthur Fonzarelli (aka THE FONZE), on TV’s ‘Happy Days’.”
The mysterious attorney claimed all the Prince wanted for the magic Fonze Greek fishing cap was $50 billion. No taxes, no hidden fees, no surcharges.
Madoff said he lept at the chance to secure the valuable item. “I’m a big Fonzie fan and always wanted to be just like him. I mean, come on, to have Ritchie, Potsie, Ralph, Mrs. C., Chachi and the whole crew look up to you–- aaayyy, get outta ‘ere, who wouldn’t want that, ehhhh?!”
So, Madoff did as instructed and wired the attorney representing the Nigerian Prince $50 billion. “It was pretty much all the money I had, except for a couple million bucks walking around money that I keep in trouser and jacket pockets. But it’s been four weeks and I still haven’t received the magic Fonzie Greek fishing cap,” said a crushed Madoff. “I hope this Nigerian Prince’s lawyer is on the level. I’d hate to think I was taken advantage of. Hey, Nigerian Prince’s lawyer, if you’re reading this, come on, give up the Greek fishing cap, aaayyyyy!”
With that, Madoff awkwardly thrust a thumb into the air and poked himself in the left eye. “Owwww,” he said, “that hurts. Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”
Fonzie: Aaaay, I’m up and moving!
Richie: You’re in La-La land, Fonz.
Fonzie: Let me tell ya, it’s a lot of fun in La-La land.
Richie: What a Potsie.
Funny shit. I think you should get the art dept. boyz to do a little Photoshop with Madoff’s head and the Fonze’s torso. And thanks for the bogroll add. I’ve seen a click or two over the last couple of days. Got a mention in New York Magazine over the Vanity Fair piece. i’m trying to turn the whole mess into a scandal like Madoff so I can sell the movie rights…http://nymag.com/daily/food/2009/01/will_prodigal_mcnally_brother.html
Funny shit, indeed! When you get your “art dept. boyz” to do their Photoshop magic, adding Madoff’s head to Fonzi’s torso, have them blank-out Madoff’s right eye and stick the eyeball onto the end of Fonzi’s thumb.
Seriously though, I do feel kinda sorry for poor old Bernie. I hope he does get his Greek fisherman’s hat, real soon. He can sell it on ebay, and get a few bucks to reimburse one of his victims for about .000001 % of what he stole from him.