Not content with being the world’s greatest golfer, Tiger Woods now wants to secure the “World’s Greatest Husband” novelty coffee mug by buying his wife, Elin, a $2-3 million 61-foot sporting boat.
“Man, what chance do I have?,” said a depressed Bill Trailleybud of Ashville, North Carolina, “I got my wife a romantic dinner, some earrings and even suffered sitting through that Valentine’s Day movie– but I look like a cheapskate, unromantic cretin compared to Tiger. I mean, come on, even if I bought the wife a bass boat, I’d look like a jerk. Tiger’s just putting it in the face of all men. I’ll bet he didn’t have to see Valentine’s Day!”
“Tiger’s just got game,” said the close family friend. “When he plays, he plays to win. What a guy!”
2-3 million? Much, much cheaper than a divorce! Like a blue-light special on big-assed bass boats!
Right you are. If it sticks, Tiger’s getting off cheap. Of course, one night she may practice her swing with a 7-iron at his skull…
If I were Tiger, I wouldn’t go sailing with Elin on the new boat. After all, she has the blood of Vikings in her veins, and she may just keelhaul that bilge rat.
You’re right, as always. Tiger will need his A-game at all times around the misses on the boat.