There was much mystery shrouding the small private dinner Obama held with China’s President Hu Jintao on Tuesday evening. The beltway was abuzz with who was attending and what the purpose was of the dinner held the day before an official state dinner. Now it has been revealed: the private dinner was about relieving a whopping $850 billion debt the United States owes to China!
Anonymous sources report that Tuesday’s private dinner included Hu, Barack and Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, comedian Bobcat Goldthwait, actor Sally Kellerman, magician Doug Henning and Canadian rocker Geddy Lee of Rush. “It was a dream team of celebs and interesting personalities.”
“The menu was fabulous. Tossed green salad with iceberg and romaine lettuces, cherry tomatoes, sliced cukes, walnuts and dried craisins with a thick coat of Kraft French dressing. There were Pepperidge Farm rolls, too! The main course was tender beef tenderloins, green bean casserole topped with fried onions and those small seasoned potatoes. For dessert, pound cake slices loaded with strawberries and Cool Whip! It was an incredible feed, but the best part is what happened after dinner as Geddy Lee started performing a killer acoustic version of Tom Sawyer.”
“Obama coyly turned to Hu and told him what a gas it was to have him over, then he slipped the Chinese leader a bill for $850,000,000,000.00! He told Hu that in America we have a saying– ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch.’ The President tells Hu that saying holds doubly true for dinner, so Hu owes us $850 billion for his tasty meal. Bam! Hu looked like he was about to die. He was one livid dude. Obama got him but good!”
The Obama ploy will erase a large portion of the U.S. debt to China. Sources say the President next plans to invite Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama of Japan to dinner.
Hu put it on his American Express card. Told Obama he wanted the points.
Hu is wise. He should earn enough points to for a coach flight from Washington, DC to Richmond.
Very wise man, Hu is!
FYI: My spies in D.C. report that American guests at the state dinner spent the entire night telling “Hu” jokes. While it went unreported by the Washington press corps, the prez and Hu, both of them long-time students of Abbott and Costello, did an exceptionally good rendition the famous “Who’s on first?” routine. Perhaps they present it at the next gathering of world leaders. A little laughter couldn’t hurt, right?
Agree, Curvin. A rousing rendition of “Who’s on first” could only improve US-China relations. Maybe they could even tour with The Who.
Did Hu leave a tip? 15% of 850 billion should leave the wait staff of the White House rich enough to buy some government bonds of their own.
Good point, Ms. Z. If he did leave 15%, you’re right, the wait staff are in tall cotton (probably made in China).
While I do not know if Hu left a tip, there is a rumor that he tried to ‘dine & dash’– which is just bad form for dignitaries.
I read an article yesterday that Hu will pass the reins of power within a year or so to a man named Xi. I can’t tell you much about Xi, but the news means Hu will be free to tour with The Who, assuming The Who can still perform. Questions: Can Hu sing? Play a guitar? Does he know the words to The Who’s greatest hits, including ‘Baba O’Riley”? (FYI: The song’s okay, but it’s “O’Rielly,” not “O’Riley.”)
Hmmm, this is all very curious. Hu with The Who would be a big draw, I think, and I suppose at the very least the Chinese leader could play tambourine or just catch Daltry’s microphone after he flings it in the air.
I do wonder if you have the correct name of the next leader. “Xi” looks weird to my eye, but I suppose it’s pronounced “McIntree” or “Jorgenson.”
Thanks for the insight, Mr. Baba O’Rielly.
The full name of Hu’s successor is Xi Jinping, but you can call him Mac or Buster.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/19/world/asia/19china.html
I’ll call him “late to dinner” and give him a stiff check afterward.
If it worked on Hu, it’ll work on Xi.