The Lint Screen

Lawmakers Take Vacation From Nation Ruination

Written by

PD Scullin

in

Lawmakers take a break from their torture of America.
Congressional personnel are exiting Washington quickly to enjoy their long summer vacations. “We’re exhausted,” said one Congressman. “Doing nothing good is awfully tiring work.”

While no politician wanted to be quoted on record, all who spoke with The Lint Screen admitted that they were tuckered-out from grandstanding and being sycophantic servants to their lobbyist overlords and billionaire puppet masters. “I’ve had so many rich meals, my last cholesterol test said I was the equivalent to Béarnaise sauce,” said one distraught senator.

Many of the tea party stooges admitted they were tired from trying to drive the economy into the ground. “Playing chicken little and screaming ‘the sky is falling!’ is really harder than it looks,” said one exhausted freshman congressman. “Being a drama queen is tougher duty than I thought it’d be, yes siree, Bob!”

While The Lint Screen research department was unable to identify exactly who this “Bob” person is, we can say with certainty that with the lawmakers away, the United states of America is safe for the time being.

Comments

2 responses to “Lawmakers Take Vacation From Nation Ruination”

  1. Curvin ORielly Avatar
    Curvin ORielly

    “Bob” is Robert Q. Public, brother of John Q. Public.

    In the case of Bob, the “Q stands for Quincy.

    John Q. was named after the character Queeg in Herman Wouk’s book “The Caine Muitiny.”

    They have a sister, Queeny Ann Public.

    All three of them wonder how members of congress can call themselves Public servants when it’s so painfully clear that the Public family is always last in line at the proverbial feed trough.

  2. admin Avatar
    admin

    Thanks for clearing that up, Curvin.

    I thought “Bob” may be Mr. Redford, De Niro, Barker or Dylan. Here he’s a relative of Mr. Public, a man who has been terribly abused by Washington pols.

    If we get much more abuse, we might end up at the morgue with toe tags reading John or Jane Doe– no relation to Doe, a deer, a female deer.

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