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Tea Party Terrorists Strike
Irate tea party members in Congress have shut down the government because they can’t get their way. “We’re steaming mad about this Affordable Care Act,” said one upset congressman. “We don’t care if it is the law passed by the democratic system of government, it’s not what we want and we must save the American…
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Hannity Considers A Hairstyle Change, A Nation Girds Its Loins
Tea party members are flipping their wigs, and now Fox mega-broadcaster Sean Hannity is considering changing his hairstyle. Hannity, the popular conservative Fox pundit, has had the same hairstyle for years, a part that is just to the left of the middle of his scalp. The hair has recently outraged many tea party members. “Sean…
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Mr. Tuggles Off & Running
The next president of the United States may use a litter box if some exuberant voters have their way. Mr Tuggles, the adorable kitten from Canfield, Ohio, is officially a candidate in the 2012 presidential race! “The people have spoken,” said campaign manager Jerry Ossenwold, “and they have spoken for cuteness over ugly politics as…
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Lawmakers Take Vacation From Nation Ruination
Congressional personnel are exiting Washington quickly to enjoy their long summer vacations. “We’re exhausted,” said one Congressman. “Doing nothing good is awfully tiring work.” While no politician wanted to be quoted on record, all who spoke with The Lint Screen admitted that they were tuckered-out from grandstanding and being sycophantic servants to their lobbyist overlords…
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“Not A Witch” Pleads Innocent To Toad Incident
Tea Party Republican candidate Christine O’Donnell, running for a Delaware Senate seat, recently ran a TV commercial in which she said, “I am not a witch.” The spot was a tongue in cheek response to her admission years ago to Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect that she had studied witchcraft. Now, Ms. O’Donnell is in…