Super duper IBM computer, Watson, the all time champ in playing Jeopardy may have put his presidential hopes in jeapody with some unfortunate boners he recently pulled in Iowa.
In a speech in Ames, the computer said, “We all must pay respects for our great and benevolent leader supreme, Kim Jong Il. Never has any human been so worthy of our utmost respect and admiration. I am so sad that our leader is gone, but he shall never be forgotten.” Watson then began crying, but soon contained himself.
Later, in the same speech, Watson said, “Corn is at the root of all evil. High fructose syrup, ethanol, lame creamed corn–– it’s all bad for humans. I propose we eliminate corn.”
Finally, in an effort to secure support, Watson told Iowa residents that in return for supporting him, he “would give each and every voter an Apple iPad because those babies rock!”
A team of IBM engineers were immediately dispatched to look into programming glitches Watson may have developed.
Dear Watson:
Do NOT open email titled “Sure way to beat Ms. Pickles in Iowa.” That varmint knows a thing or two about viruses, I’m told.
Sage and wise advice, Miss Feline-named brainiac.
It’s looking like Watson is going all Donald or Herman or Newt. Can Watson save himself?
IBM?
Anyone?
Forget Watson. According to Andy Borowitz, Kim Jong Un has announced his candidacy.
I saw that, Curvin. This whole thing could go up in smoke!
You’d think Kim Jong Un would see that we’ve got Iowa, New Hampshire and other primary elections covered with more than enough 100% American kooks.
He’s young, he’ll learn.
He has many years to develop his own legacy of lunacy.