Al Qaeda Steps Up Recruitment Efforts

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Al Queda is now interviewing for a new #2.

With another Al Qaeda #2 biting the dust, the evil terrorist network has decided to turn up the heat in recruitment efforts.

Following Saeed al-Shihri’s encounter with a bomb recently in Yemen, the #2 Al Qaeda position is once again open. Reports from a secret source in the no goodnik organization say that there is little interest in being promoted into the vacant position. “No one wants to step up to #2. From #3 through #99, not one person wants the promotion,” said the deep cover source.

So, Al Qaeda has turned to LinkedIn, Facebook and Monster.com in an effort to recruit a solid second in command. The ads read in part “Like adventure? Excitement? Bombs in your undergarments? Come join ‘The A-Team’ and learn how thrilling a job can be. Handsome pay package, rich retirement package and scads of virgins post-retirement.”

No reports as yet if the effort is soliciting many qualified candidates.

4 thoughts on “Al Qaeda Steps Up Recruitment Efforts”

  1. I’m filling out my application and am having trouble answer #3. Do I like bombs in my undergarments? I don’t know about that. In a way, it sounds kind of exciting and in another way, it sounds kind of painful. Not as painful as a bikini wax, mind you, but painful, nonetheless. But that “start at the top” thing sounds interesting. Am torn.

  2. Kitty, I think you should pursue your dreams. When you’re #2, you’re a heartbeat away from #1. And bombs down under could prove to be quite a perk.

    Just be mindful of the office politics, and I’m sure you’ll find your way to the corner office in the cave.

  3. Continue to be undecided, Patrick, despite your golden tongued recruitment efforts. Could be that the positive upward mobility possibilities do not overcome the negative “scads of post-retirement virgins” thing. Seems the boys are far more interested in that perk than the girls.
    Go figure.

  4. I understand your turmoil. Maybe you should just shoot for the moon and send a resume for the #1 spot.

    As for virgins being more of a perk for boys than girls, that could explain why so many boys are willing to tuck bombs into their BVDs.

    Good luck to you, Ms. Kitty!

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